Tyson Deploys Reindeer-Shaped Nuggets Into America's Freezers

The frozen aisle has declared the holidays open. Tyson Holiday Nuggets went on sale November 2 at major retailers nationwide, shaped like reindeer, Christmas trees, and gingerbread men, and they are only here through the end of the year.

A Christmas Pageant, Breaded

The cast is small but committed. One reindeer. One tree. One gingerbread figure, who has clearly seen things. Every piece is 100% white meat chicken, and every piece can be cooked from frozen in an air fryer, oven, or microwave, which means the holiday miracle now takes a few minutes and no chimney.

No suggested retail price has been announced. A 27-ounce bag was spotted at Walmart for just under $7, which is less than one ornament at a store that plays carols in October.

The Ethics of Eating Rudolph

Somewhere a child is going to bite the head off a reindeer nug and look up at a parent for guidance. That parent will have no guidance. This is the true meaning of the season. The gingerbread man has been running from people for centuries, and he has finally been caught by the one predator he never planned for: a breading machine.

The Christmas tree nug, meanwhile, raises a question this newsroom is not prepared to answer: is it decorative, or is it dinner? Both. The answer is both.

Under Our Jurisdiction

A nug is a nug regardless of silhouette. These fall squarely under our jurisdiction, and they are on a countdown. The bags vanish when the calendar flips, so stock the freezer now or tell your grandchildren you missed the year the reindeer came breaded.